Q is for Quizzes-- what kind of hamster the internet thinks I am

Is anyone else getting a tad bored with the long posts full of information? I am. So I decided to take a "fun day" in which I would do barely any writing but instead take billions of personality quizzes claiming to tell me what kind of hamster I am. Almost none of them agree. Take a look.

Any of the words are directly quoted from the quiz (but edited for spelling, punctuation, that sort of thing.)
If there's an image, click it to get to the quiz. Otherwise, click the title or any link within to get to the quiz.

So I'm a... hippy hamster?

Certificate: Test results What breed of hamster are you?

"For 40 % you are: A BLACK BEAR HAMSTER! You are a docile character, easy to be around.
% of Quiz participants had this profile!"
 
Take this quiz: What breed of hamster are you?

You are a Golden hamster!

"You like napping, fast action and love love! I think this attribute is amazing, because they are my favorite hamster!"

Dwarf Hamster

"Although you are small you can bite hard, but with your short hair you are very open to animal attacks"

Chinese Hamster

"You come from China and look a little like a gerbil. You're so cute and small you find yourself in tricky situations!" [spelling and punctuation errors corrected]

LAZY 'n SHY

"You are very lazy, but very shy too, people love you, because you make friends when you get comfy with em' (tip: try going up and down your stairs so your mom wont say you do nothing all day long.....and JUST SPEAK UP!"

Golden hamster

"You love to eat sunflowor seeds. you like to be alone, but you can can have someone over every once-and-a-while. 
you like to escape all the time. you love to come out and crawl around."

Dark Colored Hamster

"you like to be evil, but you have a soft underbelly of good-ness... like me..."